


Sometimes tour life sucks

by Vinushuka



Series: One year with Apocalyptica [37]
Category: Apocalyptica
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-05-09 20:28:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14723061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vinushuka/pseuds/Vinushuka
Summary: Mikko's back injury threatens to ruin Apocalyptica's North America tour but with the help of their warm-up band they find a creative solution that keeps also their fans happy. Perttu is doing his best to support Mikko although he is suffering himself of homesickness and severe pain in his hands during the last shows.Perttu's return home turns out to contain couple of surprises but in the end he gets to see his lovely daughter Lumi and Anna. Perttu is at loss with the strong feelings that awaken during their reunion. Suddenly he just can give up on their relationship and proposes Anna to keep the status quo at least to next spring. He is ready to let Yusuke decide Lumi's middle name and happy that Mikael is willing to take care of her christening.





	1. Sometimes tour life sucks

## Sometimes tour life sucks (1)

After our euphoric show at Atlanta the situation with Mikko’s back injury started to get nightmarish. During the long bus ride to Tulsa and Rocklahoma festival Mikko had a chance to rest and in the end he managed to convince us that he could play with the help of painkillers. He did play, but there was a price to pay. After the performance Mikko was in such a pain that we considered cancelling our next show at Lubbock. After a long discussion we however came up with another solution. We were not going to disappoint our fans by cancelling the show but instead we would return to our original repertoire with cellos only. We would play Metallica and Mikko could rest and get medication to his injury.

      “Why do I have the feeling that I’m getting too old for all this touring?” Mikko sighed when we were at the waiting room of a local health center. Mikko had a doctor’s appointment to get an expert opinion about his condition and proper medication. I had volunteered to accompany him in case he needed a helping hand or mental support.

“Sitting on a tour bus for fifteen hours and playing with high intensity for two hours without a warm up isn’t exactly a healthy combination. I think we have room for improvement in preparing physically for the shows. Maybe we should have more time to rest and exercise too”, I pondered thinking about my own experiences. My fingers had lately started to complain about our tight playing schedules.

“Tell that to Eicca! He will give you long a lecture about efficiency and touring costs”, Mikko grinned.

“I will. We will be in a deep shit if any of us gets injured due to overexertion”, I promised.

“I totally understand if you would like to be at home right now”, Mikko suddenly remarked as if he could read my thoughts and tried to tap me at the back. That remained just an intention. When he raised his hand, he gasped and grimaced of pain. “Sorry, I’m totally worthless, I can’t even move my hand”, he complained looking beaten.

“Yeah, I’m dying to see my daughter”, I admitted feeling a surge of guilt ripping me apart. “Don’t worry, we will get you back into playing condition no matter what it takes”, I assured Mikko and gave him a careful hug.

      Mikko was called in before he had time to say anything more. I helped him up from his chair and walked him to the waiting doctor, a slender red headed woman about our age. She reminded me of Anna. “Please make Mikko well again. We need him… ”, I told to the doctor when she led Mikko into the room and closed the door behind her.

      During the waiting time I had a good chance to think about my feelings towards Lumi and Anna. I had never expected to feel so protective and proud of a little human being that was supposed to have my nose. I had a compelling need to call Anna every day just to make sure that she and Lumi were okay. I could sense that Anna was tired and slightly disappointed because she couldn’t produce enough milk for Lumi. She assured me that Lumi was an easy baby and was gaining weight normally with donated breast milk.

      Anna would have to stay at the hospital still for a week. During that time she would have a chance to learn everything necessary to manage the daily life at home with the baby. Nina would join her right after Anna and Lumi would be admitted from the hospital. It should have been me who attended the childbirth and I should be there to take Anna home from the hospital, but I wasn’t. Yusuke had taken my role and I was sitting here at Lubbock worrying about Mikko. The situation was more or less absurd.

      Feeling angry and irritated I grabbed an old magazine lying on the sofa I was sitting on and started to browse through it. After a while I noticed a full page advertisement of Lord of the Rings merchandise, mainly jewelry. What caught my eye was a replica of the One Ring hung on a chain. Lord of the Rings had been one of the things uniting me and Anna right from the beginning. I remembered Anna bragging about reading the books around ten times when she came to the job interview. It was probably the One Ring that inspired me when I selected the ring I wanted to give to Anna. I never did that, but I still had the ring reminding me of my negligence. Now we had a little human being who united us for the rest of our lives whether we wanted or not. It would only be appropriate to give Anna the ring now as the token of our parenthood inscribed Anna & Perttu 20.05.2015. I just needed to find a jeweler to do the inscription and provide the chain for the ring. With that decision made my irritation was gone and I felt better about myself.

      I jumped up when the door opened and the doctor accompanied Mikko out. “Don’t worry, he will play again, but not within three day or so”, the woman said and flashed a friendly smile at me.

 “That’s great! If you have time this evening, please check out our performance. We will play Metallica tonight.”

“Maybe I will”, she replied and glanced at Mikko.

      We headed back to our venue and tour bus after we had picked up Mikko’s medication from the pharmacy. Our technical team was in the process of setting up the equipment when we arrived. I helped Mikko into the bus to rest and went to look for Eicca. I found him sitting at the backstage room rehearsing with Paavo the Metallica songs added to our set list.

“How is Mikko?” Eicca asked when I walked in and grabbed my cello waiting in the corner. “He has myositis in his back. He will recover, but that will take several days. We’ll have to decide what to do with at least Albuquerque and Tempe shows.”

“Oh shit. The fans are not going to like this. They are coming to listen to the Shadowmaker songs, but we can’t help it. Metallica is better than nothing.”

“Excuse me, but I just had a word with Mikko and he told me about his problem”, Jeffy, the drummer of Art of Dying interrupted our discussion. “I could try to learn some of your songs and be your spare drummer while Mikko can’t play. He promised to teach me everything necessary”, Jeffy proposed.  Art of Dying was our warm up band during this North America tour so we actually had a second drummer onboard. Why didn’t we come to think of that!

“Really! That would be a great favor from you!” Eicca jumped up from his seat and rushed to give a hug to Jeffy who looked slightly embarrassed. Maybe he had seen me kiss Eicca and had his doubts about Eicca’s intentions.

       As promised Jeffy started to rehearse couple of our older songs and two songs from Shadowmaker under Mikko’s guidance. I must admit the guy did an amazing job on such a short notice. We started our Albuquerque and Tempe shows with Metallica songs, continued with ‘Hole in my Soul’ and ‘Sea Song’ with Franky singing and playing cajon drum and ended with six songs where Jeffy was on drums. The shows ended with ‘Dead Man’s Eyes’ with a feeling that made all our suffering and hardships worthwhile. I wish I could experience that same feeling once more. It was perfect!

      Mikko was again onboard at our Reno show and after that. I found a jeweler at Reno who did the inscription for Anna’s ring while we were in town. When I was at a shopping mall I realized that I should probably buy something for Lumi too. I walked around the mall but couldn’t find anything remotely suitable for a small baby and got completely frustrated after a while. Suddenly I noticed a fat orange cat at a toyshop window that would make a nice wrestling partner for Lumi when she was a little older. I walked into the shop and bought the cat without bothering to look for anything else.

       While I was dragging the cat into our bus a piece of music started to play in my head. It kept repeating itself as if it wanted to be written down. I dug up my cello and played the earworm adding this and that into it until I got a short song about a grumpy, orange cat. “That sounds funny”, Eicca commented when he entered into the bus.

“It’s just something for Lumi”, I replied realizing that I could probably come up with more music like it.  I played another theme that was about a baby sleeping her hands folded around the cat of her own size.

“Is that a lullaby?  It’s beautiful”, Eicca asked and sat by me. “Why don’t you make an album for Lumi as you seems to have so much music within you?”

 “Yeah, it’s a lullaby”, I replied happy that I had manager to convey the image I had in my head to Eicca. “Maybe I will. It’s so good to write music again. I have never felt like this before.”

“I know the feeling!” Eicca smiled and gave me hug. “Just do it!”

      As it happened I could easily come up with three more songs for Lumi. That was not enough to make an album, but maybe an EP. They were all composed for a solo cello so I could play them in my own concerts or even during Apocalyptica shows when there was a special need to play acoustic. I had saved our neck couple of times by playing Psalm when our equipment had broken down. Our friends in Art of Dying knew a small studio at Winnipeg where I could record my music and have it printed on CD. When I had the CD in my hands I knew I was ready to return home to my loved ones.

      The constant travelling by bus was clearly taking its toll on all of us in spite of all the wonderful sceneries we could see while travelling through deserts and mountain ranges. On top of it all my fingers almost betrayed me at the last two shows of our tour. The pain was excruciating and almost made me faint when we played at Quebec and Montreal. I have never been as grateful of returning home as after this tour. Playing at Download festival at UK was only a minor detour on our way home. Not even the pouring rain and mud at the festival area could dampen my high spirits. I was finally coming home!


	2. A homecoming with a surprise

## A homecoming with a surprise (2)

I was growing more and more nervous as our plane approached Helsinki-Vantaa airport. I knew that Johanna would be there to meet me but that was not the reason of my jitters. The reason was a much smaller and younger person whom I would meet tomorrow. I had promised to call Anna as soon as we had landed so that we could confirm our planned meeting time on Monday. One never knew if planes would be late or if I would fall ill after a taxing tour like ours. The circumstances at Download had been trying to weary travelers like us.

      I was sitting beside Mikko who had been sleeping during most of our flight from Heathrow. He stirred awake about thirty minutes before our landing and ruffled his hair. “Ah, having a summer vacation is a lovely thought”, he mumbled stretching his back and limbs.

“Is Mikael meeting you at the airport?” I asked just wanting to know if they had settled their problems.

“Yeah, he should be there… Mikael was completely infatuated with Lumi, when he visited Anna a while ago. Be careful with that charmer daughter of yours. She will wrap you around her little finger.”

“I think she has already done that but thanks for the warning… By the way did that doctor of yours ever come to the show at Lubbock?”

“Err…she did. We had a good time watching you play. I think we got a new fan”, Mikko confessed blushing a little.

“Is that so? Should I tell Mikael about this?” I teased Mikko and poked him playfully. Mikko had a history of dating women in public and having other kind of relationships in his private life.

“Nah, it was just fan service so don’t bother.”

       The familiar sceneries sliding under us made us both silent. This land full of green forests and lakes meant more to me than I cared to admit. I’d had enough of the deserts, mountains, hot cities and tour busses for a while. It was time to enjoy the silence of the cool forests and some horseback riding.

      I made my call to Anna while I was waiting for our luggage to arrive. Our technical staff took care of most of our equipment but in spite of that I had a huge pile of luggage, including my cello and Lumi’s big cat.  Our plan for a sauna evening on Monday was still valid and I was really looking forward to it. But before that I would meet my fiancé and have my first riding session with her on Monday morning.

      When I entered the arrivals hall with my luggage cart I could immediately recognize Mikael waiting for Mikko but I couldn’t find Johanna. I stopped and waited, watching Mikko give a warm hug to Mikael and Eicca and Paavo talk with technical staff and head out to load our equipment into a van waiting outside. Finally I took my phone and gave a call to Johanna.

“Hi baby, whereabouts are you? I’m waiting at the arrivals hall at the moment.”

“Sorry, I’m in the toilet right now. I started to feel sick all of a sudden. This won’t take long. I will be there in a minute”, Johanna explained with a weary voice.

“You should have let me know that you’re sick and can’t come. I could very well have taken a taxi home.”

“There was nothing wrong with me half an hour ago. Maybe I felt a little tired but that was all… After that Johanna paused but she didn’t close the phone. I could hear that she was throwing up. I waited patiently for her to flush the toilet and wash her mouth.

“Are you still there?” she asked. “I think I’m okay now, please wait.”

      After a minute or so I saw her slender figure hurrying across the lobby towards me. I left my cart and rushed over to meet her. “Welcome home, babe”, she whispered and dived into my arms.

“Jeez, you scared the shit out of me”, I mumbled holding her tight just to make sure she wouldn’t faint or anything.

“I’m fine now but maybe we should hurry home before the nausea hits again”, Johanna proposed and withdrew from my arms.

“You still look very pale”, I remarked stroking her cheek. “I hope we can fit all this stuff into your car”, I said nodding towards my baggage cart.

“I don’t think that’s a problem. We can fold down the backseats if needed.”

      When we were driving in Johanna’s car towards my apartment I returned to her sudden sickness at the airport. “I hope you haven’t caught a Norovirus. It’s very nasty and contagious.”

“No, I don’t think it’s a virus… ”, Johanna mumbled and glanced at me. The color had returned to her face and I thought that she blushed a little.

Suddenly it started to dawn on me. I had seen this happen before, only then it was Anna who felt sick. My heart skipped a couple of beats before I could say anything.

“What is it then? Please tell me!” I encouraged her to give her educated guess.

“I think I’m pregnant…”

“But how is it possible? I thought you were on the pill.”

“I was, but I think I missed one in May, on the Sunday after Anna’s party. We made love then, after Franky had traveled home.”

“Wow, that some news! Lumi is going to get siblings sooner than we thought… How sure are you about this? Have you already made a pregnancy test?”

“Actually I made a test a week ago but I couldn’t get a clear result then. I think we should try again tomorrow morning.”

“That will be a very exciting morning”, I mumbled still trying to digest what Johanna had just told me.

      We had to interrupt our discussion as we had arrived in front of my apartment house. After dragging all our belongings to my home upstairs we both were sweaty and exhausted. Johanna had bought two full bags of groceries because my fridge contained nothing but lights due to my month’s absence. After filling up the fridge we decided to take first a shower and then cook some dinner together.

      I more or less lost my appetite when I stepped on the bathroom scale to check my weight. I had regained all the kilos I had managed to lose during the spring.

“Oh shit, I’m back to the starting point. I just can’t keep the fat away”, I complained and pinned a layer of my belly fat between my fingers. “It’s collecting mostly on my waist.”

“You look fine to me”, Johanna whispered and folded her arms around me from behind. She pressed her cheek against my back and caressed my hairy belly. “During the summer you can have more exercise which makes it easier to lose weight. Let’s start new life tomorrow.”

“Hmm… New life, a pregnancy test and meeting my daughter for the first time…It sounds like Monday is going to be a very busy day. “By the way, how are you feeling now”, I asked turning to face Johanna.

“I’m feeling fine. My body feels somehow mature and my breast are fuller…Why don’t you try out yourself.”

She didn’t have to ask that twice of me. “I think you’re right. These are definitely fuller”, I admitted after I had cupped my hands onto her lovely breasts.

“You’re fuller too”, Johanna grinned. She had slid her hand down to my manhood that was rapidly getting hard. She squeezed her fingers around it and glided her hand down to expose the head. “Would you like to make love right away, here in the bathroom?”

“Isn’t it pretty obvious”, I joked glancing down at my fully loaded weapon.

      The possibility of Johanna being pregnant combined with the long separation made my desire for her to brim over. I made her bend over and pushed myself deep inside her from behind. She grabbed support of the tabletop while I fucked her watching her beautiful face and body in the bathroom mirror. I knew I wouldn’t last long but it didn’t matter. We had the whole night to enjoy our reunion.


	3. The Monday

## The Monday (3)

I woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of toilet being flushed. When Johanna returned to bed, I could sense that something was wrong. She was sobbing quietly and her body was shivering. “What is it?” I whispered and caressed her arm.

“I’m sorry…My period just started…We don’t need the test tomorrow”, she sobbed and burst into tears. I took her into my arms without knowing what to say. The hope we had for a while had just been snatched away from us.

“We have plenty of time to have children… Perhaps it was better this way… We have a tough year ahead of us with the house renovation and all the Shadowmaker tours”, I struggled to find the right words to comfort her.

“I know that but the hope of carrying your child overrode all reasoning. Now I’m disappointed with myself…What if I can’t have children? We all know that there’s nothing wrong with you. You managed to make Anna pregnant at her fifties. That’s a real achievement.”

“I don’t deserve any credit for that. Anna was determined to have a child with me and she did it. I don’t know how, maybe she had help from her guardian angel or something.

“Since when have you started to believe in angels?” Johanna asked and smiled in spite of her tears.

“I don’t know. Some of the things that happened during this year have made me wonder if there’s something strange afoot here…Anyways I think we should sleep now and start our new life tomorrow as planned”, I proposed.

“Yeah, let’s do that. Sweet dreams, darling”, Johanna mumbled sounding drowsy and curled into my lap.

      When I woke up early Monday morning in my bed with Johanna sleeping by my side, my foremost feeling was happiness. I was finally at home, no more tour busses or snoring bandmates. The events of last night had made me appreciate the fact that Anna had managed to give birth to our lovely daughter. To me Lumi was a miracle, a thing that happened when I least expected it but none the less wouldn’t give up at any cost.

      Johanna had regained her mental balance by the morning and was eager to start our exercises on horseback. After having breakfast we headed to the stables and saddled up my old friend Bruno for a ride. We spent close to two hours on horseback and after that went to have some lunch. Johanna had other pupils in the afternoon and I had my meeting with Anna so we said our goodbyes and went our separate ways.

      During our riding session I told Johanna that I was having sauna with Anna and a dinner after that and that I would probably stay the night with her and Lumi to get some idea of a life with a baby. I couldn’t call myself a father if I didn’t know how to feed a baby or change diapers. There was a lot to learn.

      I had just enough time to take a shower, change clothes and prepare mentally for my first encounter with Lumi before I had to be on my way. When I arrived at Anna’s house, I was nervous but in a good way. I parked my car on her front yard and hurried to Anna who was out in the lower garden with Lumi waiting for me.

       Anna was back to her slender self and looked happy in this beautiful house and garden. If I hadn’t messed up my affairs I would now be living here too. Therefore I considered myself lucky when I managed to arrange financing for the estate I had bought with Johanna at Kisko. I had delayed the decision to buy the place as long as possible because I wasn’t sure I was doing the right thing. However Anna’s engagement with Yusuke made it clear that there was no alternative. I had lost Anna and there was no going back.

      When I grabbed Anna into my arms, all the frustration and pain generated during the tour was miraculously washed away. I was where I wanted to be, with the people I loved the most. . “Oh jeez, you don’t know how much I’ve missed you and Lumi!” I whispered into her ear and stroke her hair. I was alarmed when Anna, after a long silence, started to cry.  “I’m so sorry!  I know I should have been here for you but I wasn’t… ”, I continued feeling at loss.

 “Please stop blaming yourself. I’m not crying because I’m disappointed in you but because I realized how much I missed you. Lumi hasn’t heard her father’s voice in a long time… Would you now like to see your daughter in person?” Anna asked and nodded towards Lumi’s carriage.

“More than anything… ”, I replied my heart thudding at double speed.

    Nothing could have prepared me for the surge of love that I felt when I finally held my first born in my arms. Anna had dressed Lumi in one of the pretty dresses Franky had brought. She was like a doll; tiny, beautiful and very determined, just like her mom. She grabbed a strand of my hair in her tiny hand and didn’t let go. She literally caught me and I surrendered to her without conditions.

“Hello Lumi, remember me? I’m your daddy Perttu”, I said feeling confused. So this was the person who had almost kicked me in the face and performed summersaults in Anna’s belly. Lumi probably recognized my voice because she tried to kick me again. I gazed her face in awe for a while. “The photos didn’t do justice to her… but I don’t know about the nose”, I told Anna.

“It’s more yours than mine. Mine is bony and Lumi’s nose is very small and rounded like yours”, Anna smiled and reached out her hand to trace my nose with her finger. Her touch broke the barrier that had grown between us during my absence. I still wanted her and her touch.

“Should we go inside? I have something in my car for both you and Lumi”, I proposed trying to hide my confusion. I was engaged to be married with Johanna, I wasn’t supposed to feel this way.

       We walked back to the front yard where I handed Lumi back to Anna and picked my souvenirs from the car trunk or, to be accurate, the package containing Lumi’s orange cat. The other presents, my special CD and the necklace were small enough to fit into my pocket.

“Is there a particular order I should open these?” Anna asked when we had sat down on the living room sofa.

“Why don’t you start from the biggest one”, I proposed pointing at the package containing the cat.

“Wow, this is lovely! I can’t let Lumi handle Muru yet but this one is fine, no claws”, Anna laughed and cuddled the cat.

“I think this is music, or am I wrong?” Anna asked turning the CD box in her hand.

“I composed some lullabies and stuff for Lumi and played it with my cello in a studio at Winnipeg.” I explained. “We will probably use some of that material for our next album so please keep it out of publicity.”

“Thank you very much! This is a lovely present! I will keep it safe”, Anna promised.

“And what is this?” Anna asked turning the smallest package in her hands.

“It’s something I bought already some time ago but couldn’t make myself give it to you. I decided to have it modified so that you could wear it somehow.”

       I watched with keen eyes when Anna opened the box containing my One Ring imitation. I was afraid that she might be offended when I gave her the ring as a token of our relationship and Lumi’s birth, but she took it very well.

“Was this originally my engagement ring?” Anna asked with tears in her eyes.

“I’m afraid it was”, I confessed. “When you got engaged with Yusuke, I thought I would get it scrapped but I didn’t have the heart to do it. Then I came up with the idea that you could wear the ring as necklace. Maybe that was a bad idea. I don’t want it to be a burden for you.”

“Should I now toss it into the fire of Mount Doom?” Anna asked smiling through her tears.

“We can do it together if and when we find it somewhere”, I replied and grabbed her hands into mine, “I wish things had gone otherwise.”

“I honestly think that you’re better off with Johanna and I can’t abandon Yusuke now. It would kill him” Anna reminded me of the realities.

“I know that. I guess it just wasn’t meant to be. But one can always hope…”

“Never say never…” Anna mumbled looking slightly confused.

“But now I think we should go and check out our sauna. It should be ready around this time”, Anna said and stood up to put Lumi to sleep in her box. “By the way, would you like to bathe her?”

“I can give it a try, if you let me”, I replied trying to play down my eagerness.

“Of course you can bathe your own daughter. She enjoys it very much… ”, Anna replied and gave me a hug.

      Our sauna evening didn’t start very well because I blabbered too much about our house project. I just couldn’t help myself although I knew that the subject was sensitive to Anna. I finally came to my senses when Anna rushed out of the sauna to take a shower. I guessed that it was just an excuse to hide her tears. It would be best to let her calm down before I joined her in the shower.

      As always I couldn’t keep my hands off her body. Her full breasts reminded me about her promise to let me taste her milk. The thought made me terribly horny. On top of everything Anna had let her pubic hair grow back to hide her scar. I had never seen her like that and I just couldn’t resist the sight. Consequently we ended up fucking in the shower even that wasn’t my intention. I couldn’t make myself select between my fiancé and the mother of my child, maybe later but not now after all that we had been through. Anna was probably thinking along the same lines because she asked me to make love to her. Okay, my dick betrayed my intentions anyway by pointing eagerly to the ceiling.

      Making love with Anna had always been a bit animalistic and this time wasn’t an exception. She didn’t hold back her emotions or reign her needs, it was so obvious how much she wanted me. The thought that I could make someone lose herself altogether was utterly pleasing and boosted up my self-confidence. I hoped that I still had two roles in her life, as a lover and as Lumi’s father.

      I was satisfied that Anna let me take care of Lumi right from the beginning. Bathing Lumi successfully and dressing her for the night after that made me trust my parental skills. I wanted to spend as much as possible time with my daughter to earn my place as her father, not as some strange visitor popping by to visit her every other month or so.

      To be honest I wasn’t prepared when Anna during our dinner opened the discussion about me and Johanna having children. Was it just a coincidence that she took the matter up after the events of last night or had Johanna told her something?

“If you want a little sister or brother to Lumi you’ll have to take care of that with Johanna.” Anna said straining her voice to say the words.  It sounded like the topic was extremely painful to her. It was difficult for me to understand why she was so sorry about it. She had already given me Lumi so I had no right to ask more of her.

      I didn’t know what to say to her until I remembered my discussion with Johanna about angels and miracles. “Miracles have happened before so why couldn’t one happen to you?” I tried to comfort her but couldn’t hide the sadness in my voice.

“I don’t believe in miracles”, Anna replied harshly. “But one can always hope”, she added after a short pause and sounded more hopeful. I wondered what made her change her mind…

      We retired early that night after we had first listened to Lumi’s CD. Anna was extremely pleased with my compositions and assured me I should continue my work as a classical composer. After our listening session we said goodnight to Lumi and Nina and climbed to the upstairs bedroom to spend some quality time together as Lumi’s parents. What an interesting thought!


	4. Tasting

## Tasting (4)

“When can I have my milk portion?” I asked as soon as we had shut the bedroom door behind us. The thought was so exciting that I couldn’t think about anything else.

“Do you want us to do it exactly as I do it with Lumi?” Anna asked cocking her head. She was teasing me, no doubt.

“That’s a good starting point, I think”, I replied although I didn’t have a clue how she did it in the first place.

“Well, then we are better off on the sofa. We need some space for your long legs.

Anna sat at the other end of the sofa and inserted a pillow in her lap. “Okay, I’m ready now. You can lay your head on the pillow and do your thing.”

I followed Anna’s instructions and watched with keen eyes when she opened the strap of her pinafore dress and exposed her breast. It looked pretty full to me.

“Okay, you can start sucking now but please don’t bite”, Anna said and offered her dark nipple to me.

       Anna caressed my cheek with her fingers and started to hum an old lullaby while I collected my courage to start sucking her breast. I heard her voice hitch when I finally got the first drops of milk into my mouth.

“Jeez, it feels so different when a grown up man sucks my breast. There must be a direct connection from my nipple to my clit”, Anna breathed closing her eyes and enjoying the feeling.

Anna’s milk tasted strong and healthy. It was of course warm so the flavor was very different from the cold milk straight from the fridge. A few sucks were enough for me…I didn’t want to use up my daughter’s dinner.

“Thanks for letting me taste…” I said stroking her breast lined with blue veins.

“Will you let me taste your milk too?” Anna asked her eyes dark with passion. She let her hand wonder from my chest down to my waist and towards my manhood. I had managed to turn her on so there was no way out the situation but to surrender to whatever she wanted.

“My milk is saltier and stickier than yours but if you want it, it’s all yours.”

Maybe the bed is more convenient for that tasting”, Anna remarked when I had sat up on the sofa. We ripped off our clothes quickly and dived into Anna’s waterbed like hungry wolves. In no time we ended into sixty nine. Anna was sucking my dick with unprecedented vigor and I pushed my tongue into her hairy pussy to keep up her passion.

       Sucking Anna’s clit combined with her skillful handiwork made me climb the stairway to heaven until I lost it and shot her mouth full of my sperm. I didn’t let go of her clit during my orgasm and continued sucking her as soon as I had got my senses back. Anna started to moan and didn’t stop before she flipped over the edge and started to contract against my face. After Anna’s orgasm we rolled over to our side completely exhausted and wet from our juices. The only thing I could think of was that this was something I didn’t want to give up, not yet…

       After we had cleaned ourselves for the night we climbed back to the bed happy and contended.

 “That was some tasting”, Anna grinned playing with a strand of my hair.

“Yes, it was. I was afraid that you wouldn’t want me anymore like you used to”, I confessed.

“Don’t be silly. I have always wanted you and always will. Nothing can change that. That’s why I’m in constant pain. I love you and want you but I will have to give you to someone else because that’s the right thing to do. Your future is with Johanna and mine with Yusuke.”

“Is Yusuke going to move in here with you? I asked the question that had bothered me already for some time. “I’m asking because I was hoping to spend time with you and Lumi as much as possible. It would probably be slightly awkward with Yusuke around.”

“Yusuke has spent a lot of time here lately but I don’t think he’s ready or willing to move in here. He has an apartment close to our company rented till the end of June next year. It would be expensive to terminate the contract ahead of time. Besides I think he wants his privacy too.

“I would appreciate if we could keep things as they are until next spring or so. I’m going to keep my apartment and Johanna hers till the renovation is completed.”

“Sounds fine to me. I will have to talk about this with Yusuke when he’s back from his business trip”, Anna consented. “By the way, we should start planning Lumi’s baptizing. She needs a middle name and new godparents. Patrik has changed his mind about being Lumi’s godfather. Do you think Eicca and Kirsi would be willing to take the responsibility? ... And Mikael is very eager to baptize her.”

“Why don’t we let Yusuke decide about the middle name”, I proposed after a short consideration. “He’s already done so much for Lumi. Besides a Japanese name would be handy for her if you’re planning to spend some time in there.”

“Hmm, I’m sure he will appreciate the gesture. A name like Kaori would suit her. She smell so good, most of the time”, Anna giggled.

“I can have a chat with Eicca and Kirsi about the godparent issue. I’m pretty sure they are expecting us to ask them and Mikael can of course be our priest if he wants to. Mikko will probably like the idea too.

“Can you tell me what happened with Patrik? You used to be so close with him”, I asked to get the whole picture.

“I’m sorry but those are his private matters so I’d rather not talk about them”, Anna replied avoiding my gaze.

      I didn’t ask anything more as the topic was clearly sensitive to her. Anyway, I was relieved about the end result. There was something weird about this guy that scared me. I had felt his attraction the few times I had met him…

\-----

      I woke up later at night when Anna suddenly startled and sat up on the bed rubbing her face. She was shocked and breathing heavily.

“What is it? Did you have a nightmare?” I asked.

“I saw the girl again…She was drowning…  ”, Anna struggled to tell me.

“What girl? Have you seen her before?”

“I think she’s Yusuke’s daughter Miyu, the one who’s missing. I have seen glimpses of her in my dreams several times already… she must be alive.”


End file.
